The Death Network
Melissa ‘Mel’ McClave
Death Doula, Educator and Advocate
Since 2018, I have worked as a death doula, guiding individuals and families through the complex choices surrounding end-of-life care and unexpected death. From thoughtful Advance Healthcare Planning to body disposition options, I help you explore all possibilities so you and your loved ones feel informed, empowered, and supported. I advocate for your choices, knowing it’s your journey.
My approach centers on love and connection. I specialize in creating space for meaningful, shared experiences during life’s final chapter, honoring your unique values, culture, and wishes. Clients worldwide, from all backgrounds, find comfort in my gentle, non-medical bedside presence and advocacy. I focus on loving acceptance, helping you cultivate dignity, peace, and personal meaning even in the face of death.
Normalizing conversations about mortality is my passion. Death is inevitable, and open dialogue gives us agency. I volunteer with national and local organizations and host regular events - including Death Cafes, Terminal Talks, and private gatherings - where people of all ages can discuss dying and death openly.
In private sessions, I work one-on-one with you and your loved ones to clarify goals, create personalized plans, and advocate for your preferred options. I’m an experienced MAiD planner and facilitator.
I am an International End-of-Life Doula Association (INELDA)-trained death doula, a member of the National End of Life Doula Alliance (NEDA), and a certified POLST educator. I hold certificates from the Shiley-Haynes Institute for Palliative Care.
Let me support you with clarity, compassion, and unwavering presence through this sacred transition.
Available in person and online.
Creating Choice, Clarity & Connection at End of Life
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End-of-Life Planning
While none of us can stop death, we can have a voice in how we experience the journey. Thoughtful planning helps ensure your values, wishes, and priorities are understood before a crisis occurs, giving you greater peace of mind and reducing the burden on those you love.
Completing an Advance Health Care Directive and POLST is a simple process, but it isn't always an easy one. These conversations invite us to consider difficult questions about the care we would want if we could no longer speak for ourselves. You don't have to navigate them alone.
As a certified POLST Champion, I have specialized training in guiding individuals and families through meaningful end-of-life conversations, completing Advance Health Care Directives and POLST forms accurately, and helping ensure those wishes are understood and can be honored when they matter most.
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Legacy Work
Our lives are measured by more than milestones and accomplishments. Future generations benefit from knowing who you were, what you valued, how you loved, and the impact your life had on those around you.
Together, we'll preserve your stories, memories, wisdom, and values in ways that can be shared with the people you love today and with generations yet to come. Whether through letters, recordings, guided conversations, or other meaningful keepsakes, legacy work creates a lasting connection that reminds others they were loved - and that your life made a difference.
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Supporting Solo Agers
Planning ahead is especially important for people who don't have a spouse, children, or trusted family members to advocate for them. Whether you identify as a solo ager or simply don't have the support system you need, I help ensure your wishes are clearly documented, your plans are in place, and your voice is heard.
I'm especially drawn to this work because everyone deserves to have their choices respected at the end of life. Together, we'll create a thoughtful plan that reflects your values and helps ensure your wishes can be honored, even if family is unavailable, unable, or unwilling to support them.
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Medical Aid in Dying
I provide compassionate guidance to individuals who are exploring or have chosen Medical Aid in Dying (MAiD), while also supporting the family members and caregivers walking alongside them. My role is to help everyone understand the process, prepare for what to expect, and create a peaceful, well-supported experience.
I'm drawn to this work because I believe every person deserves the opportunity to make informed end-of-life choices that align with their values. When someone is eligible for MAiD, thoughtful planning and compassionate support can help reduce unnecessary suffering for both the individual and the people who love them.
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Community Outreach
I believe that open, honest conversations about dying and death help people make more informed decisions, strengthen relationships, and reduce fear. That's why I'm passionate about creating spaces where these conversations can happen with curiosity, compassion, and without judgment.
I facilitate both in-person and virtual discussions, educational workshops, and community events, while also volunteering with a variety of end-of-life organizations. Through outreach and education, my goal is to help normalize conversations about death so people feel more prepared, connected, and empowered long before they're needed.
Contact Melissa (Mel) McClave
Based in San Diego, CA, I support people in-person and online on their end-of-life journey, advocating for their choices and honoring their values.
Call / Text: 858-256-6216
Email: melissa@lastactsoflove.com
Website: LastActsofLove.com