What Is a Vigil?

A vigil is a sacred time of presence and remembrance, and it can take place before or after death - whether coming together prior to death to say good-bye, sitting in support as someone is transitioning, or gathering once they have died.

When a loved one is passing, families often long for more than a rushed goodbye. In today’s world, where we are conditioned to move quickly and hand things over to professionals, it can be easy to forget that we have the right to pause. A vigil is a sacred time of presence and remembrance, and it can take place before or after death - whether coming together prior to death to say good-bye, sitting in support as someone is transitioning, or gathering once they have died. In any case, a vigil creates space to slow down, to let our hearts and minds begin to reconcile the reality of what is happening, and to honor a life in a way that feels true.

At The Death Network, we believe that vigils are not only meaningful, but essential. That’s why we’ve partnered with Orchid Cremations to offer families the opportunity to gather, connect, and say farewell in a way that feels authentic and healing.

Why Slowing Down Matters

Death often feels abrupt, even when it is expected. In those first tender hours after a death, a vigil gives family and friends the opportunity to be fully present, to sit with their person, and to let the reality of the loss gently settle in. This slowing down allows us to begin the work of saying goodbye, not just with our minds, but with our hearts and bodies.

Many people believe the body must be removed immediately after death. In truth, it is legal in every state to keep a loved one at home for a period of time, whether for a vigil or a home funeral. Families may choose to spend several hours, or even a day or two, with the body. This practice - common throughout history and still honored in many cultures today - gives families the chance to grieve at their own pace rather than feeling rushed into the next step. Laws vary by state, here in California there is no limit for how long the deceased may be kept at home. Visit The National Home Funeral Alliance for more information about the laws in your state.

The Role of End-of-Life Guides and Death Doulas

For families who want to honor their loved one with a vigil or home funeral, an end-of-life guide or death doula can provide gentle support and reassurance.

Most death doulas are trained in caring for the body after death in ways that make it comfortable for the family to draw near.

This may include:

• A gentle body washing, closing of the eyes and mouth if necessary

• Dressing in a cherished outfit or shrouding in soft, natural fiber fabric

• Guidance on keeping the body cool to slow natural decomposition, especially in warmer climates

Unfortunately, most funeral homes and mortuaries in the U.S. don’t provide these services. This is where death doulas help fill the gap - offering families compassionate care, hands-on guidance, and a reassuring presence.

Through our partnership, The Death Network and Orchid Cremations work side by side: doulas and guides hold space for vigil, while Orchid provides professional and dignified cremation care. Together, we ensure families experience continuity and support from dying, to death, to disposition.

What Happens During a Vigil?

No two vigils are alike. They are shaped by the wishes of the family and the personality of the person who has died. A vigil may be quiet and contemplative, or it may be filled with conversation, music, and ritual. What matters most is that it provides a space for connection, reflection, and farewell.

Authentic Remembrance

Coming together to pause and reflect can help our hearts and minds slow down and create the space for acceptance and grief.

Some ways families honor their loved one during a vigil include:

• Quiet Reflection: Sitting together in peace, sharing silence, or simply holding hands around the bedside

• Personal Rituals: Lighting candles, placing flowers, reciting prayers, or creating new traditions that feel right

• Music and Words: Reading favorite poems, scripture, or letters, or playing songs that carry special meaning

• Storytelling: Sharing memories, laughter, and stories that celebrate a life well lived

• Final Goodbyes: Offering unhurried time for each person to say farewell in their own way

Orchid Cremations Vigil Options

We understand that saying goodbye looks different for every family. That’s why Orchid Cremations has created cremation packages that include vigil opportunities, such as:

• Direct Cremation & Vigil – A simple cremation with the option for loved ones to have a final farewell

• Direct Cremation with Vigil & Parting Stones – Includes a vigil, along with the return of your loved one’s remains in solidified form for a lasting memorial

• Water Cremation & Vigil – An eco-friendly option combined with the opportunity for family presence and farewell

By including vigils in their packages, Orchid shows that cremation does not have to be without ceremony. Families are given a way to slow down and create meaningful moments before their loved one is taken for cremation.

Why Families Choose The Death Network & Orchid Cremations

Our collaboration ensures families have access to both compassionate guidance and professional care. The Death Network’s doulas and guides support the family through vigil and ritual, while Orchid Cremations provides thoughtful, eco-conscious cremation options. Together, we give families a seamless, meaningful experience at one of life’s most tender thresholds.

At Orchid Cremations, families have the choice between flame cremation, the traditional method most people are familiar with, and water cremation, also known as aquamation or alkaline hydrolysis. Water cremation is a newer, eco-friendly option that uses a gentle process of water and alkali instead of flame, returning the body to its natural elements with significantly less environmental impact. Families often choose water cremation because it feels softer, more natural, and aligned with values of sustainability and care for the earth. By offering both options, Orchid ensures that families can select the path that best reflects their loved one’s life and legacy.

An Authentic Good-bye

Families often tell us that these moments - unhurried, intentional, and supported - help them begin the healing process and bring a sense of peace to an otherwise overwhelming time.

A vigil, whether held in the home, hospital, or hospice, is more than a ritual. It is a loving gift: the gift of time, presence, and dignity as we say goodbye.

For more information on home or hospital vigils, please send us an email hello@dodeathdifferent.com or visit Orchid Cremations website.